I've always been impressed by the commandment's brevity. It says just enough to establish a behavioral standard, while remaining silent on less measurable matters, such as feelings. We're left to grapple with our feelings, even as we carry out the commandment.
Both of us know the familiar categories of love: brotherly love, erotic love and God-like (agape) love. The first requires that we grow to like each other. Eventually, "like" may develop into something deeper. Erotic love is biologically driven. Agape love is a matter of the will, of deciding to want and work toward the good for another. Feelings may well enter into the decision, but they are not a required prerequisite.
All that leads me to divide the question of observance from the matter of feelings. For example, you write "the Bible does command love...it clearly isn't afraid of commanding emotions." Insofar as I can tell, the Bible commands agape, which may be exercised with or without the emotion we call love.
The commandment, I think, is addressed primarily to adults, loosely defined. In my experience, adults seldom are able to change their feelings by an act of will. Repeated actions, though, may do so. To take an almost silly example, the best way to overcome our fear of water is to get in the water and learn to swim. After a few years, we may find old feelings have dropped away. We may even transform into people who love the water. We do not do so by paying too much attention to our feelings but by paying careful attention first to staying afloat, then expanding our range to include actual swimming.
We agree that the ego cares only for iteself. I would add that it hates to have our attention diverted from itself. Honoring one's father and mother may well do so. The ego fights back, of course. Spiritual formation is tough, dirty work--not least because it usually starts a civil war inside us.
Humble tasks train us to resist runaway ego. Providing food, drink, shelter, clothing, transportation and the like is good for one's parents, but I suspect it's even more beneficial for us. It's the most commonly available "proving grounds" for learning how to get out of ourselves and do what is necessary to build community.
Back to you!